Wednesday, October 6, 2010

Checking in

It has been 3 weeks since my son left rehab. He has transitioned to a sober living community and is attending AA almost daily and an intensive outpatient program 3 nights a week. He is checking in with me and even brought 3 of his new buddies home for dinner last night. It was a great evening, talking openly about their recovery experience, the nicknames they've given each other, and the funny things their counselor said during treatment. I learned that I, together with two other mothers (whose sons were eating with us) have been dubbed "The Tender Trio". How funny is that? More so, it is beautiful that they have learned to see with more compassionate eyes what they have put their family through. When they left, I closed the door behind me and the first thought in my mind was, "So THIS is what it's supposed to be like!"

You see, in the past, Daniel didn't really want to socialize with me and rarely brought friends home. If we had dinner together, the conversation was shallow and just long enough till he was done with his dinner. How refreshing it was to have him back for an evening. And I actually liked his friends. Sweet boys. Young. Vulnerable. But sweet. God, I pray they make it.

Today Dan reported to the courthouse for not completing diversion training (DUI a few years ago). His 'rehab' success story helped, but he still has to spend 48 hours in jail and be on probation a couple years. After receiving this news by phone from one of his friends that went to court with him, I hung up and told myself "I'm going to live my life" and continued with my plan to shop over my lunch hour.

We have both made progress. We are both in recovery. We are both learning to live our lives differently. I am learning that I need to live my own life, regardless of the good/bad that happens in his. He is learning that being honest and responsible means facing the consequences. Good lessons. Hard lessons.

And how are all of you? I'll have to go browse your blogs...


  1. It is really good to hear about your own recovery during this process. Continue the good work.

  2. You are doing so well. Stay the course with your recovery. Good for your son to be going to AA and working on his own recovery. Life can be wonderful when we live our own lives without trying to control others.