Monday, September 13, 2010

A New Season Begins

Tomorrow, my beloved son completes his 4-month stay in a wonderful rehab program. While we are very impressed with the team that surrounded him, amazed with the changes we have observed, and hopeful with the incredible recovery community he has discovered, I have also learned that his sobriety rests squarely on his shoulders. Hmmm, he has not managed it very well for the past years. Will these new tools he has gained be sufficient to guide him? Will he continue to have the drive and will to do whatever it takes? Will he be humble enough to remain accountable to his sponsor and new friends? Will he secure and be able to keep a job? Will we begin getting crisis phone calls again?
I am working hard at not future-tripping. So easy to do.
It helped that I attended an Al-Anon meeting tonight.
Here is what I heard:
  • Focus on my life: what can I do to make it a good day?
  • Decide now what I will do if my fears are realized (relapse)
  • Determine to do nothing (and give him the dignity of growing up)
The next days and weeks will be a major adjustment for both of us. He will be working to get on his feet, find a job, structure his day, follow through on his out-patient treatment. He will move into a clean-and-sober house with about 6 other young men, most of whom, have completed the same program he did. I am relieved he has a safe place to go because our home is not an option.
I will be working on not obsessing about the possible failures, taking care of myself, being patient, trying to sleep without worry.
That's all.
It will be a good day. A turning point. A new beginning. Please God, guide us all.


  1. Keeping the focus on you is the best thing you can do, happy to see you heard that at Al-Anon last night. My prayers will be with you and your family. Life is good when we stay present.

  2. Enjoy the present. It's God's gift to you.

    He's not using today, Praise God! That's how I repsond when someone asks about my son, who has been clean about three years now.

    Do you feel that knot in your stomach starting to loosen? Take deep breaths and enjoy the present.

  3. I agree wtih yaya...enjoy the present. My brother (who went through almost 15 years of addiction issues with his daughter...she is two years clean now), always told me that with each rehab and effort to get clean, his daughter took a step in the right direction. Maybe, your son has now taken enough small steps that this will be the big change in life for him. But that's the point, it is up to him to change his life, not you. You remain in my thoughts and prayers.

  4. Yes, keep the focus on yourself. His recovery does rest with him and his Higher Power.