Friday, May 28, 2010

So thankful for my new online friends

Many, many, many thanks to those of you who have commented on my posts. This blogging is new to me and I had no idea how much it would help to find other moms (and dads) with hearts that ache over their addicted sons and daughters. I am glad to find you and call you my new friends.

My sister checked in with me today. The fact is, I have many friends and family that are trying to offer support and encouragement. I am thankful for them too. This is what I told her:

The truth is, I am going one day at a time. Thankfully, I am not in depressed state constantly. I have times of high energy and happiness. But my thoughts are extremely preoccupied with my Danny-boy and the crisis we are in. My emotions are up and then crash down, sometime very low. Yesterday I had a great day. Then I had a short call from him and it triggered all kinds of fear. Fortunately, Michael (my husband and Daniel's stepfather) was there and we talked and I cried. It brought us closer. He is really walking with me through this hell, and I cannot imagine doing it alone.

So, some days I am great. And then I have moments (or days) when I'm not sure I want to live. Don't worry. I am not suicidal. I just don't want to live this life that has been forced upon me. I don't know what I am doing here.


  1. One day at a time is all anyone can do. I hope that you will look into a 12 step recovery program for you. It helped me so much.

  2. My husband and I are getting acquainted with an al-anon community. It helps some.

  3. "I just don't want to live this life that has been forced upon me. I don't know what I am doing here." Well said. I have said the same thing so many times! Its not fair! We didn't sign up for this when we had our kids!

    You seem like a strong, smart woman that is doing the right things. Keep writing.