Tuesday, July 20, 2010

Coming up for air

I survived another valley of grief
not that I won't be visiting again,
but, for this most recent episode, I think I hit my bottom and am coming back up for air.

Whew, that dose of truth from the Friday family 'fish bowl' sure caused me to buckle.
One benefit is I think it annihilated any remaining denial and led me to a crystal clear conclusion: it is time to get on with my life.
Maybe that is why after 8 weeks of looking into our guest bedroom (where my son was staying)
I finally had the courage today to enter it and clean up.
Yeah, I think it enabled me to face that room without any fear.

Packing his things...since he won't be returning here after rehab
(nope, it will be a sober living community for you, my Danny-boy)
Checking pockets and any potential stash places.
all I found was Viagra.
Why does a 24-year old need Viagra?
Never mind, I don't really want an answer.
It went into the garbage along with a few other items.
Washing the bedding, packing his clothes, and doing a thorough vacuuming
will make my organized-self feel good.

Thanks for the encouragement you all delivered to my blog in the past few days.
Besides a big box of kleenex during those dark times,
I really need to know someone understands.
I regret that these gut-wrenching experiences are the thing that brings us together
And yet, I must say, it is a gift.

now, about that vacuuming...


  1. I am so happy to hear you are doing better! And rest assured we do understand and I agree that this community is truly a gift! It's a life line of sorts because those who haven't been where we tread so often just aren't able to understand or grasp it like those that live it the same as we do. Hang in there and know that you and Daniel are in my prayers tonight!

  2. It's wonderful to hear of the progress you are making. As they say in my support group, "It's not about perfection, it's about progress."
    Unfortunately, for me, I have had to clean my son's room out numerous times as the addiction always seemed to worm it's way back into his bedroom.Your family will be in our prayers.

  3. It is a gift--all the gut wrenching sorrow. At first it's hard to see that, but eventually the sorrow is what brings us to the path of recovery. And that is a gift.

  4. im praying for you dear one..

    (opiate users need viagra. the mind isnt the only thing opiates dulls. when i stopped using my prescribed meds, those lil blue pills where no longer needed)

    be blessed