Tuesday, July 6, 2010

The Invitation Continues: Step 2

I'm relfecting on the 7 steps for applying Radical Acceptance (see my June 29th post for reference). I'm looking at each step individually to encourage myself and others to think about it, brainstorm how to apply it, and share ideas with each other. I enjoyed reading everyone's comments on Step 1, "Love and be gentle with yourself. Radical acceptance means treating yourself as you would treat someone that you truly love", but now we move onto Step 2:

Praise yourself. Tell yourself how well you are doing and stop criticizing yourself. Write down things you have done that make you feel proud and refer to it when you're experiencing feelings of self-doubt.

I don't know about you, but I am not one to praise myself. The fact is, I am very analytical and find it much easier to identify my flaws. Even when someone praises me, in my mind I might say "yeah, but what you don't know is...". So while I don't think I'm ready for the big step of praising myself my analytical bent does allow me to reflect on what I think I have done right and what I am proud of.
  • I was affectionate to my son and told him often "I love you"
  • I gave him a safe home, in a good neighborhood
  • I encouraged healthy friendships and lots of play time
  • We had countless memory-making vacations and fun weekends away from home
  • We rode bikes together, we skied, we camped, we played
  • Holidays were fun times together and with family & friends
  • I taught him financial responsibility, how to care for himself, his cat, and expected him to do regular chores
While this isn't a complete list, it's the start of a long list of things I did right and things I am proud of. God knows I did my best. I think I just need to remind myself more often. And one day, I am hoping, I will see the fruit of my efforts.

How about you?

1 comment:

  1. I can also be very hard on myself. I got a better, more balanced, perspective of myself from working my fourth step in Al-Anon. I was able to see there were things I did right, too. And the past was happier than I had remembered. Thanks for taking us on this journey with you.