Wednesday, June 30, 2010

An Invitation to Apply Step 1 of "Radical Acceptance"

Yesterday I posted a definition of Radical Acceptance and some suggested steps for how to do it. I think it would be great if we took one step at a time and shared thoughts and ideas (or examples) of how we are doing it, or trying to learn.

Here is Step 1:
Love and be gentle with yourself. Radical acceptance means treating yourself as you would treat someone that you truly love.

I, for one, really want to get these concepts into my brain. Let's get some ideas flowing.


  1. I am doing OK on this one but could use some improvement. Last week I treated myself to a massage ~ oh, so wonderful. In a strange way, I find that committing to exercise, is a good way of being good to myself. I say 'strange' because it's really hard work, but the benefits of the natural high, greater sense of well-being, and increased energy all help to offset my really bad days that still happen too frequently.

    I want to be better at the "be gentle" with myself in terms of my own thoughts. I want to be better about not allowing my mind to go to the blame space, not play the comparison game, and not look for all the things I did wrong in raising Daniel. It is true that if I had a friend in my shoes, I would extend compassion and understanding to her. Why shouldn't I do this for myself?

    A healthier Carolyn will be a healthier wife, mom, friend.

  2. I think that I have come a long way in liking myself and accepting myself. It takes time to get to this place in recovery where I can forgive myself. I was never the focus because I spent too much time focusing on others. Good idea to discuss these.

  3. It's funny how low on my list of priorities I put myself. If I'm not dealing with the emotional wasteland of parenting my addict, I'm dealing with my other 4 kids, or my husband, or my 2 step children, or the house, or my job, or friends that are feeling ignored or, or, or...
    "Love and be gentle with yourself" the words alone make me want to cry because I know that is exactly what I need at this moment, but I don't know HOW...I don't even know where to start.

  4. This is something I tell friends whenever I hear them put themselves down "would you say that to your friend?" they always say "No!" then I say "then you should treat yourself as you treat your friends". I try to follow it myself when I catch myself putting myself down. I am glad you are talking about this!

  5. I have a hard time loving and being gentle with myself. I think it's because I was raised to always put others first and then I'm pooped!

    I'm working on it!